Google
 

Friday, 28 December 2007

SPAMta Clause doesn't exist!

Image:SPAM Christmas TreeA beautiful SPAM Christmas tree!

Hope you all had a nice Christmas and are enjoying the break. Although, some things never take a break.
As the old police saying goes: "Crime doesn't stop for Christmas". Well, the same can be said about SPAM.
Although somebody has gone to the trouble of making you this beautiful SPAM Christmas tree (above), it doesn't deter from the fact that Electronic SPAM, is of course relentless and repetitive. It is believed to be how it came by it's name. It is allegedly in reference to this classic, insane sketch from Monty Python's Flying Circus.

Monday, 24 December 2007

Tis the season to be moany!

Image:Santa & Reindeer huntedChristmas - How much do you hate it?
It's Christmas Eve! Love it or hate it, Christmas is upon us.
If you have kids and you love Christmas then that's simple enough. But, what if you have kids but actually hate Christmas?
If only there was a way to keep your kids happy and entertained while at the same time able to register your deep dislike for the festive foolishness.

Well, of course, you've guessed it ... there is!
So here's what to do. Click your way to Seussville.com and you will find a selection of colouring-in projects for the kids all in PDF format (you'll need a PDF reader which you should already have, if not get it free from adobe), which your kids (or you) can print out, colour in and cut out.
One of the projects is 'Make Your Own Grinch Mask'. How perfect is that?
The kids get to have the fun of making the mask and you'll get to benefit from wearing the finished product!

Everyone's a winner! You get to silently display your disgruntled disdain for the day, while the rest of the family don't have to hear about it during 'It's A Wonderful Life' OR have to look at your sourpuss sneer, putting them off their turkey.

Image:xmasresistance.orgBut, if you're a real hardcore Christmas hater, then you may want to join up with the guys at The Christmas Resistance Movement.
They would like to encourage you to "boycott Christmas" because they want to "end compulsory consumption".
You won't find them anywhere near a Christmas grotto, but instead they have a Christmas motto, which is:"NO SHOPPING, NO PRESENTS, NO GUILT!".
And, not only that, just like Seussville, they have a sort of 'arts and crafts' section too.
They will allow you to print out their logo onto your own stickers as long as you do not sell them or credit them to any author other than Nina Paley.
So, enjoy, or erm ... not.

Saturday, 22 December 2007

Tinsel and tampons!

Image:Tampon decoration-StarAre you bored with the same old Christmas decorations, year in, year out?
Or maybe, last year in a fit of Christmas depression and drunkenness you threw all your decorations out onto a giant bonfire, danced round it naked screaming "F**k Christmas! Never again, never again! I won't need these crappy decorations EVER again!".
But now 3 days before Christmas, you discover that friends, and maybe even some family, are planning to pop over on Christmas day to "cheer you up, coz you seem a bit down".
So now it's panic stations. You want to appear normal, so you need Christmas decorations and you need them FAST!

Well fear ye (you know it's Christmas when bloody "ye" keeps coming into sentences) not!
You can just make your own! Allow me to give you some inspiration with the help of the creative people responsible for TamponCrafts.com.
To get started you need to either:
  1. Be a lady.
  2. Be a man who knows the "joys" (ehem) of living with a lady.
  3. Be a man who doesn't mind buying his wife's (or his own) 'Punani Plugs' while getting stared at by all around him, as if he has mistakenly picked up a box of dynamite sticks and a box of matches.
Image:Tampon decoration-AngelOnce armed with your 'Fanjita Fillers' follow the step-by-step guides and you'll be creating 'beautiful' decorations such as the Christmas Star (above right) for atop your Christmas tree.
Or perhaps one of these lovely little angels (left).
Doesn't she look like she just fell from Heaven? (Ironically, before she was deformed into an angel
she was destined to go to Heaven, hehe).

And if you're planning to go 'all out' and decorate the whole place then how about some of these festive "lights".
Okay, they're not actual lights, they are just look-a-likes or even look-a-lights (hahaha, ya see what I did there? No? k.).Image:Tampon decoration-Fake lightsTampon decorations - what could be more festive?

Wednesday, 19 December 2007

Say it with flowers!

Image:Lover's SeedsLover's Seeds - Really say what you mean!
People use the expression "Say it with flowers", but will the flowers really say what you feel?
Well this plant allegedly will!
Pictured above are what Bizarrefun.com describes as "Lover's Seeds".
According to them:

Image:I Love You plant"It's an actual real flower seed (fava bean size)... When seed is planted in sand with potting soil &/or peat moss, each seed will sprout in approximately 6 days in the hot sun (varies with different climatic conditions - works best in the hot sun). Each plant will have 2 words "(of your choice)" genetically imprinted (black text - looks like burned engraving) on each leaf - different word on front and different word on back!"

They can be purchased for $2.49 each or there are several wholesale options for the euntrapanuers amongst you.
Check them out at Bizarre fun

Monday, 17 December 2007

Tree are the world

Image-Canadian beer bottle Xmas treeCanadian flavoured beer bottle Christmas tree!
Here is another fine example of a 'beer bottle Christmas tree', but this time with a distinct Canadian flavour.
Sadly not lit as well as the other example I posted but still nicely done. And I'm sure it looks better 'in the flesh'.
But the Canadian beer bottle tree is only to illustrate the real purpose of this post, which is to direct (or should I say guide) you to Earthcam.com.

For those of you that haven't been there before, it's a site that has links to webcams/streetcams from around the world. So you can have a nose around into local life in pretty much every country you can think of, all for free!

And, seeing as it's Christmas, they now have a special 'Christmas Tree Cam' section, where you can view Christmas trees in other countries.
There are cams from Trafalgar Square in London, England, Kiener Plaza in St. Louis, Missouri, Prague in the Czech Republic and several others.

Friday, 14 December 2007

Transformers! Tables in disguise!

Image-Transformer tableTRANSFORMER TABLES-Expanding the possibilities!

Christmas can increase the population around your dining table by 100, 200 or even 300% when your house is the chosen 'get-together' destination.
So how do you accommodate all these extra diners?
Okay, so you can normally find some sort of extra chairs, even if they have to be brought in from the garden.
But what do you do about table space? It's obvious you need a larger table, but you don't want some massive banquet table taking up valuable floor space the rest of the year round.

That's where one of these babies comes in.
The clever people at DB Fletcher Design have come up with the Fletcher Capstan Table.

"It is a round table which, when rotated at its outer perimeter, amazingly doubles its seating capacity and, just as astonishingly, remains truly circular. Very importantly it stores its expansion leaves within itself. Existing tables can seat six persons when small, and twelve or more when expanded, but there are other design possibilities."

Watch this great video demonstration.

Wednesday, 12 December 2007

Track dodgy Santa with NORAD's help!

Image-NORAD Tracks SantaDo you trust Santa? Is he actually delivering presents as fast as he can? Or is he hiding in a café somewhere stuffing his face with mince pies?
Maybe you've heard he's got a thing for your wife. I'm sure you've heard the rumours about "Mummy kissing Santa Claus". And, you know "there's no smoke without fire", or in this case: no smoke without meaning Santa isn't going back up the chimney for a while and is butt naked with your missus, 'roasting his chestnuts over an open fire'.

Well, how do you know if he's lingering far too long at your house, while you're putting in some extra Christmas overtime?
What you need is some sort of Santa tracking service.
Well guess what? The good people at NORAD (North American Aerospace Defense Command) have come up with the NORAD Tracks Santa (NTS) program.
On their site it announces:
"Beginning at 2:00 am MTN on Christmas Eve, you can track Santa Live as he makes his historic journey around the world! This is exciting, as Santa travels fast and NORAD Santa Cams take photos of Santa and his reindeer!"

So there you have it. Whether you are conducting a 'time and motion' study of Santa's work or you suspect one of Santa's "ho ho hos" to be your wife then be sure to track Santa for evidence at NORAD's Track Santa site.

Monday, 10 December 2007

Poke-A-Pussy!

Image-Furball protection creamI know some of you are fans of LOLcats and ROFLcats.
Although the kittens in this game don't have as much to say as those guys, you will probably still enjoy/hate the cute factor of these little fluff balls.
If you are of the "I Hate Those Bloody Cutesy Little Shits!" camp, then you may get pleasure from tormenting the little sleeping kittens, by poking them awake and scaring them half to death.
And if you are of the "I Love Those Bloody Cutesy Little Kits!" camp, then saving the little sleeping kittens lives, by poking them awake to cough out a life threatening furball, will give you a warm fuzzy feeling inside.

So, the rules are simple:
Click on snoozing kittens to release a furball of points and bonuses. Do not click on waking kittens.

Sunday, 9 December 2007

The dangers of alcohol!

Image-Ugly people beer posterRemember kids, beer is not just for Christmas!
With that in mind I feel it necessary to feature this little flash animation, warning you of the dangers of alcohol. This warning should be heeded at all times, but especially this time of year when you are more likely to be vulnerable.

Christmas can be a joyful time for most, but also 'Tis the season to feel lonely'.
Your work's Christmas party is a typical example of how you may end up in the scenario shown.
The regular drinkers will be drunk, the weekend bingers will be drunk and (the most likely culprits to end up 'hooking up' with) the annual drinkers that are only having a drink "coz it's Christmas" will be drunk.

This means that you and this very limited selection of people are going to be very drunk together. The more people you see pairing off, the lonelier you will undoubtedly start to feel.
BEWARE! Your definition of 'good looking' is about to get VERY warped and distorted!
 
Prefer the full screen version? Well click THIS then silly. For more "Dangers of Drinking", see this previous post.

Thursday, 6 December 2007

Play the race card with Granny!

Here are a few fun gift ideas for Christmas.
First up are two variations on the 'racing granny' theme.

On the left you have a pack of two wind up racing grannies, complete with Zimmer frames/walkers. Just wind them up and watch 'em go!
But, if that's not enough action for you, then the second pair of grannies may well provide some wheel spin for you, as these two are racing round a track (Scalextric style!) on wheelchair rims!
I suppose you could say it's more 'Need For A Pee' than 'Need For Speed', but they still look like great fun.


And, family get-togethers like Christmas wouldn't be proper family get-togethers without the traditional punch-up between relatives.

To get these two granddads fighting you don't even need to get them drunk. Just wind them up and watch them beat the (barely) living daylights out of each other, as if they were fighting over the last Werther's Original.

Tuesday, 4 December 2007

A very flash origami Christmas message!

Image-Origami MonsterThis is a cool way to send your Christmas messages to friends and family.
Just type in your short message and the site creates virtual (flash) origami sculptures to go with it. Which when replayed are all animated.
I think you get a maximum of five different objects per message. It will create a different sculpture after each fullstop (period). So experiment with your punctuation to see what weird and wonderful creatures you get.
You may want to fill in the 'email to and from' fields but there is no need as it provides you with a unique URL to your message. I would just cut and paste that into emails if I was you.

Here's one I prepared earlier: Merry Christmas readers!

Saturday, 1 December 2007

Tis the season to drink sherry!

Beer bottle Christmas treeYes folks it's December 1st! The shops are packed with frantic Christmas shoppers. Sales of socks and aftershave go through the roof. And people everywhere start stocking up on an amount of alcohol that should probably be consumed over a period of a few years, but will in fact, actually be downed in a few days.

So be sensible kids. If you're planning on drinking heavily over the Christmas period, whether at a family get-together or the office party, make sure you have a non-drunk person to help you get home. Because as you will see from this video, the drunk-helping-the-drunk is like the blind-leading-the-blind.

Good job one of the men makes sure he doesn't lose his umbrella. It would be awful if he returned home to his wife with drenched clothes and looking a mess.

Thursday, 29 November 2007

Do you read maps religiously?

Image-Caveman starts religionReligion is pretty much always somewhere in the news. Like the recent story of the British schoolteacher in Sudan that allowed her primary school pupils to name a teddy bear Muhammad. She was then later charged with "insulting religion, inciting hatred and showing contempt for religious beliefs". If convicted she may face a prison sentence, a fine or 40 lashes.

There are of course a lot of religions around today. Some have been around for a lot longer than others. But do you know which came first and in what order?
Do you perhaps need to know this information but would find religious studies as dull as dishwater?
Or perhaps your attention span lasts no longer than 90 seconds.
Well guess what? I've sorted you out once again. I have just the thing.

How would you like to see the history of 5,000 years of religion in just 90 seconds?
What's that? You would 'bloody love to'. Of course you would, I knew that.
I've put this small embedded version below for those of you too lazy to click on links and go anywhere else.
Just click the PLAY button.


Prefer a larger (full screen) version? Then click HERE.

Tuesday, 27 November 2007

When one door shuts another door opens!

Image-Mind The GapIf you live in, or have ever visited London, England and have made use of London Underground, you will most probably have heard the "MIND THE GAP" warnings broadcast at some stations.

Now, they are not telling you to beware GAP stores or even the jazz-funkiness of The Gap Band, they are of course warning you about the gap that occurs between platform and train doorways, more specifically platforms that have quite a severe curve to them.

Well, yesterday in the news we were informed that the "Voice of the Tube" (voiceover artist Emma Clarke) has been sacked (fired) for allegedly criticising London Underground, but she explains that she was "wildly misquoted".

But also in the news yesterday was the story that more visitors to London's Tate Modern art gallery have been injured by Doris Salcedo's Shibboleth 2007 installation which features a large (167 metre) crack in the floor.

Is it just me that can see the solution here?
The Tate Modern doesn't want to risk any "where there's blame there's a claim" merchants filing ridiculous injury claims. So it appears they are in need of some sort of warning system.
Well guess who's just become available and is probably the most experienced person you could find at warning the public about gaps?
Sorted. Glad to help.

Saturday, 24 November 2007

Not only women wear slinky little outfits!

Image: The Human SlinkyA lot of you will have seen this before, but for those of you that have yet to experience "The Human Slinky", now is your chance!
Watch the Romanian Ioan Veniamin Oprea do his stuff!
Slinky Man - For more of the funniest videos, click here

Check out The Human Slinky's website: HERE

Wednesday, 21 November 2007

Hey, wanna come online to see my etchings?

Image-Etch-A-Sketch-ManMy lame attempt of an Etch-A-Sketch man.

When I was a lad, we didn't have XplayboxWii360stations. Ooooh no. You know what we had? Etch-A-Sketch. That's right, Etch-A-Bleedin-Sketch!
Now I know they are still around today, but I doubt they rank as high as they did back-in-the-day. And the ones today are probably only bought for kids by parents that want to reminisce.
But what happens if you don't have kids? What will be your excuse for buying one?

Well, have no fear, the internet is here! Yep, you guessed it, Etch-A-Sketch is now online! Woohoo!
Now you too can create a pixelated masterpiece (of crap) like my outstanding effort above.
Also, once you have created your piece of retro 'art' it will end up with its own url (permalink) that you can share with friends and family (here's the one above slightly larger).
I'm not sure how long they keep your artwork, but long enough to share. Or alternatively you can right-click and save to your comp.

So visit them at Etchy.org and get twiddling those knobs! Although you'll be using the arrow keys so the physical element is almost totally non-existent.
So that means playing with it online you don't get the vigorous arm workout while clearing the screen. Also, I wonder if those early years of skilfully twiddling and manipulating those knobs has enhanced my foreplay skills to the benefit of my wife today. Hehehe.

Sunday, 18 November 2007

Mould in your ears?

ER-6ic Custom Earphones-Clear mouldAre you one of those people that likes to be individual and own things unique to you, such as custom-made jewellery or tailor-made clothing?
Well this cool gadget is moulded to your exact specifications. Or more precisely; your individual ears!

Headphones and (the more popular these days) earphones come in many shapes and designs. A lot of people find the standard earphones that come with their iPod or MP3 player become uncomfortable even after a short period of use.
Even if you splash out on a pro pair, fancy design and more expense are no guarantee for comfort. Some have found that the 'noise cancelling' type of earphones (with spongy surround, that squash into your ear thus blocking outside noise from interfering with your music) are more comfortable due to snugness of fit. But of course, ears come in all shapes and sizes but earphones are 'one size fits all'.

ER-6ic Custom earphones-White mouldUntil now!. ER (Etymotic Research) and ACS have come together to make the 'ER-6i Custom' (ER-6ic). They have the ER-6i Isolator 'in-the-ear' earphones. Which look similar to the usual 'noise cancelling' earphones. But the ER-6ic range goes a step further.

When you order your ER-6ic earphones you first receive a pair of ER-6i and a customisation voucher with all the details on it to take to your nearest audiologist. The audiologist takes an impression of your ears from which your custom moulds will be made.
Apparently, the whole impression process will take up to 30 minutes. Then that is sent to ACS to make the moulds in your choice of colour (of which there are eight).

So there you go. Not only will you experience great sound and comfort, but you'll have the perfect excuse not to be able to share your earphones with your waxy,flaky eared friends. Haha.

For more info visit their site at customearphones.co.uk

Thursday, 15 November 2007

Man placed on Sex Offenders Register for 'riding' his bike!

Sexy Lady Motorbike1This news story is nuts! Not so much what the guy was getting up to (just sounds like a horny drunk rubbing up on something weird when he thought he was alone.), but the punishment and how it came about.

The story was bouncing around about a month ago and the guy's sentencing was deferred until now, so it's back in the news.

A man (Robert Stewart, 51) in Ayr, south west Scotland was caught "trying to have sex" with his bicycle. ('Ooh I'm gonna grab you by the handle bars and rrrring your bell baby!' Hehe).
Weird? Yes. Perverted? Quite possibly. But any danger to the public? Did he prey on anyone? Errr, not that I have seen reported.

When I first saw this story I thought, well okay, doing some weird shit with a bike (although possibly entered into by mutual consent) out in public, with drunkenness as no defence, should at least receive a fine or something for lewd behaviour. But wait, this guy wasn't outdoors he was inside his OWN ROOM (at the Aberley House Hostel in Ayr) with THE DOOR LOCKED! (Sounds like somebody that doesn't want to be disturbed if you ask me.)
A couple of cleaners came to his door and knocked several times to no reply. (Errr, somebody 'busy' NOT wanting to be disturbed!) So they decided to use a master key and entered the room and by doing so witnessed Mr Stewart "wearing only a white T-shirt, naked from the waist down holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex."
They call the manager. The manager calls THE POLICE!

Anyway for this 'crime' Mr Stewart has now been charged with "sexually aggravated breach of the peace by conducting himself in a disorderly manner and simulating sex."
He has been sentenced to THREE YEARS on probation AND has been placed on the Sex Offenders Register for three years!

Is there a name for the crime of simulating sex with non-consensual objects? Umm, oh hang on, masturbation! That's right I remember now.
So watch out ladies. If you're going to stay in a hotel or hostel DO NOT bring your 'buzzy friend' otherwise you might just end up on the register with all the other dangerous deviants!

This story has at least given me the excuse to post these two great pictures above and below. I hope the police are keeping a very close eye on the owners that customised these two 'sexy' bikes. This might indicate that there are more "Cycle-Sexualists" (as Sheriff Colin Miller called them) out there than we realise. Haha.Sexy Lady Motorbike2
First news source 31 OCT 07
Later news source 14 NOV 07

UPDATE: 16 Nov 07
When posting the entry above I did feel a bit like I may have been going out on a limb expressing my view. But I'm glad to see, as this latest update to the story clearly shows, breaching a persons privacy and human rights are the main concern with a large amount of the public, rather than, shock, horror ... man caught masturbating behind closed (and locked) doors.
Read details HERE.

Monday, 12 November 2007

Otters on 'The Love Float'

Photo-Floating otterOkay time for a vid I think!
This video is VERY popular around the web. Most of you will probably file this under cute, sweet or just "awww". But I'm sure there is also a large amount of you that would go with 'borrrrrring, zzzzzzz or WTF? I guess it depends on whatever "floats your boat", hehe.
Either way I find it quite relaxing to watch and reckon it would make a very soothing and calming screensaver or animated desktop wallpaper.
Two sea otters 'in love' filmed at Vancouver Aquarium in Canada.
I recommend watching the whole video through to the end for the bonus cuteness.

Friday, 9 November 2007

Phone Jam spreads easily!

phone jammingAlthough I like the idea and may have just accidentally coined a phrase, 'phone jam' is not a slang term for leaking earwax due to too many hours on your phone.
The act of 'Phone jamming' to be more precise, is something that is apparently on the increase.

Did you know you can buy a device called a 'Phone Jammer', roughly the size of a cigarette packet, that at a push of a button sends out a powerful radio signal which will block/cut the signal to and from any mobile (cell) phones in a 30-foot radius?

Depending on your requirements, there are varying sizes with power and price to match, ranging from $50 to thousands.
The larger ones are bought by businesses like restaurants and theatres, but the popular ones are the small hand-held ones being snapped up by regular commuters whom "just can't take it no more". Hehe.
But be aware, before you rush off to buy one of these, using a phone jammer is probably illegal in your country. For instance, using a phone jammer in the US is illegal and punishable by a fine of up to $11,000 (£5,500) for a first offence. Ouch!

So who are the selfish ones? Is it the irritating phone user oblivious to the pissed off people around them? Or is it the Phone Jammer user, smiting the signal of the loud, obnoxious chatter while also taking down the quiet, discreet chatter with one fell swoop via the 'button of power'?
Well, I like this quote from James Katz, director of the Centre for Mobile Communication Studies at Rutgers University. He says:
"The cell phone talker thinks his rights go above that of people around him, and the jammer thinks his are the more important rights."

Bob Marley SmokingI imagine that if we ever see TV advertisements for these things, you just know Bob Marley will be providing the background music ...
... "we jammin', jammin', hope ya like jammin' too".

For more on the story see New York Times.
To buy one of these groovy gadgets go to PhoneJammer.

Monday, 5 November 2007

Fawking hell it's November the 5th!

Fireworks over LondonIt's that time of year again here in the UK where the skies are ablaze with colour and explosions. It sounds like yet another terrorist attack but it's a sort of celebration of ... err ... a, umm, well a terrorist attack, I suppose. Hehe. Or at least the foiling of one.

November the 5th is known here as Bonfire Night (or Fireworks Night, Guy Fawkes Day). It's a day where we have fireworks displays in parks and back gardens, with a traditional giant bonfire as the centre piece, onto which we cast effigies of Mr Guy (Guido) Fawkes. Although mainly only kids get involved with the making of a "Guy".

It's one of the two times a year (the other being Halloween) that it's not frowned upon for kids to go out begging.

"Penny for the Guy" business plan:
  1. Make a Guy: Use old clothes or a steal some from a sibling that you hate. Stuff them with newspaper. Make head with something like a balloon that you can draw a face on and place a hat.
  2. Sit somewhere on a busy street or outside a train station.
  3. Start begging. Hold out your hand to passers by and use the phrase "Penny for the Guy?".
Word to the wise: If you see these kids and plan to give them money. DO NOT just give them the penny they asked for. The phrase is quite obviously outdated and you need to consider inflation. Unless of course you want to get filmed on a camera phone getting "Happy Slapped" and end up on YouTube.

So what's it all about? Well back in 1605 a bunch of dudes conspired to blow up the Houses of Parliament and kill all inside. They placed large amounts of gunpowder in the cellars of the Houses of parliament and it was Guy Fawkes' that was caught red handed the night before (November 4th) lying in wait to light the fuse and detonate the explosive. The conspiracy was to be remembered as "The Gunpowder Plot".

You can read more about the official version of events here at the dedicated Gunpowder Plot section of the Parliament site.
Or for a slightly different angle you can check out the Gunpowder Plot Society's site. They believe "that the official account of this event that persists in our folklore cannot possibly be true."

Now enough of the history lessons. Check out this video which illustrates a method of firework display that unfortunately is not the tradition here in the UK.
Maybe if it became the tradition I would actually go and stand in a freezing cold park for a couple of hours. While the wife and kids enjoy the lights in the sky, us dads can enjoy the launching pads. Hehehe.


Also, on the subject of burning people see: Cremated man turns up ALIVE!

Friday, 2 November 2007

Cremated man turns up alive!

Man on fireA man is cremated only to turn up the next day alive! Like a phoenix rising from the flames?
Well, okay, maybe not.

This is a news story from Manchester, UK.
A mother mistakenly identified a dead man as her missing 39-year-old son.
As is normal procedure, the body was released to the family who then arranged for the cremation of the body on 30th October 2007. The next day however, the police rang the mother to inform her they had found her son in Nottingham apparently alive and well. Doh!

See full story HERE

Thursday, 1 November 2007

Are cats independent... (musically)?

Musical-KittensCLICK ON PIC FOR A PURRFECT PERFORMANCE!

For those of you that liked the ROFLcats and the LOLcats post, here is something along similar lines.
Click on the pic to hear (and see) kittens performing a cover version of Destiny's Child's 'Independent Women'. After hearing this you won't want to hear the song performed any other way.
TURN IT UP! It's catchy and those around your PC will love/loathe you for it.
One of Joel Veitch's many (rathergood.com) creations.

Sunday, 28 October 2007

Homer Simpson does the robot!

Homersapien Evolution
Christmas is coming and Homer's still getting fat!
With Christmas round the corner it's around about now most people are hunting down gift ideas.
Well, this is one for lovers of gadgets and for Simpsons fans alike.

From the people that brought you the brilliant Robosapien here is a great novelty variation showcased at the beginning of this year.
The Homersapien.
Homersapien
The Homersapien, as you can probably guess, does pretty much what the Robosapien can do but of course with added vocal Homerisms.
You can get Homersapien for £69.99 from Hamleys.
Spidersapien
They also sell the not so appealing (maybe that's just me) Spidersapien. Yep, you guessed it; Robosapien again but dressed as Spiderman. He also comes with "Spiderman phrases" and "Web- shooter noises."
Note, noises only! He doesn't actually shoot webs (boo). I haven't heard the noises yet myself but I'm guessing they sound pretty much like the sounds I used to make as a kid, when my mum would shout over the balcony from the third floor that my dinner was ready. I would close just my middle finger back to touch the cuff of the sleeve of my itchy 70's jumper and fire my webs up to the third floor, making the appropriate "web-shooter noises". Sadly, on the occasions that my web shooting skills failed me (every time) I resorted to Plan B: I used the stairs.

Spidersapien is also available from Hamleys at £69.99.
For some strange reason Robosapien and Homersapien are suitable for 4 years+, but Spidersapien it suitable for 6 years+.
So bare that in mind when you buy one of these for your husband. Hehe.

Tuesday, 23 October 2007

It's a fish eat fish world!

Fish Eat FishHere's a fun and VERY addictive little game.
The rules are very simple: Eat any fishy smaller than you!
The more fish you eat, the bigger you get, but remember; to continue getting bigger you can only eat the fishies that are smaller than you. Don't wind up like the little guy in the picture above. He obviously didn't follow the rules.
Have fun and AVOID THE BIGGER FISH!

CONTROLS: Arrow keys.

Friday, 19 October 2007

Aussie signs of ageing!

Cannabis ExtractSilent Pills For Females
Click pics for larger view
Above are a couple of fine examples of the great signs you can buy from Aussie Tin Signs.
Dr Poppy's Wonder Elixir might be entertaining but Dr Boxwell's Silent Pill for Females sounds like the perfect Christmas gift for the wife. Hehe.
Aussietinsigns.com describes their merchandise as:
"a range of Aged Tin Signs with an Australian Flavour" and "Australian signage from a bygone era."

They take classic advert designs, make a tin sign out of them and then put them through an ageing process which makes them appear like the real deal (rust and all). And I must say they look great.
Not all of the designs are so obviously Australian like the Billy Tea and Dingo Trap signs. They also have the classic big brands too such as; Coca-Cola, Shell, Vespa (no Mod could do without), Harley Davidson and Michelin.

They are apparently always adding more designs so check out their gallery to see the cool ones they've already got for sale.
And if tin signs are not your thing, they also have the designs on mugs, mouse mats, custom etched/screen printed mirrors as well as other things in the 'Other Items' section.

Tuesday, 16 October 2007

Betcha BUY golly, wow!

Golly KidsPictured above are a pair of dolls which are described as "Steiff Limited Edition - Golly Kids".
Now, in this day and age I assumed that the buying and selling of 'Gollies' was treated similarly to buying and selling ivory items on Ebay.
If it's old/antique it's OK, if it's newly made for sale it's NO K.
But as it turns out there seems to still be a lot of interest in buying Gollies.

I can understand collectors wanting the old ones, because they are part of history and a symbol of a bygone age. In fact that's why it's good that people do collect them and preserve them, as they can serve as a reminder of attitudes past as well as for nostalgic reasons.

But it's these newly produced ones, like the picture above of the 'Golly Kids' that surprises me. I just didn't think people bothered with making them anymore. Surely this devalues the old ones slightly if new ones are being produced still today?
And from a purely business point of view; are brand new gollies popular enough to make enough money to make them worth producing?

Well, it would seem so. You can buy the Steiff Limited Edition - Golly Kids from Sue Pearson Dolls & Teddy Bears for £150.00.
Golly Doll 1You can buy someone like 'Mikey' here (on the left ) from The Bear Shop for £59.95. He is 10" (25cm) and is part of their "Ebony & Ivory collection 2007" by Robin Rive.Golly Doll 2
Also from the The Bear Shop's 'Ebony & Ivory collection is 'Miram' here (on the right). He stands at 17.5" (45cm) and he goes for £109.

Rosie Ross presents her "Unique Ready Made Gollys" [sic] at Rosie Ross Handmade Dolls. Where she describes Gollies as "a bygones favourite and often looked upon with great affection when remembering one’s own childhood."
Interestingly, you may notice that most of these sites selling these dolls refer to them as Gollies. But there are still a few other places producing dolls that aren't so interested in being PC.

GolliwoggsThis picture here, funnily enough is what caused me to end up making this post. I stumbled across it while Google image searching (I can't remember what for now, Doh!), clicked on it and it took me to a forum where a particularly antagonistic, racist person was using it to emphasize his point. So I checked out the site the picture originated from: Mary's Secret Garden.
On the site she displays her hand-made wares (bunnies, cats and bears, some of which are really nice) including these two dolls she calls "Henry and Maddie Golliwogg", that she is/was selling on Ebay.
Also, over on another site: Jane's Irish. She goes on to explain the origins of the name Gollywog. I'm not sure if the purpose of the explanation is to make you feel more comfortable or uncomfortable before parting with your cash and buying some of her golly dolls.

Robertsons GollyHere at BYEGOLLY, is the sort of thing I expected to find. It's targeted more at collectors. It has loads of collectables from the Robertson brand that used the Golly character on their jams and marmalades for 91 years. Stuff from the 90's, 80's, 70's, even pre war stuff.

And lastly here is a report from the BBC back in 2001 about Robertson's decision to ditch the Golly from their products.

Sunday, 14 October 2007

Desktop cloaking device!

This odd shaped thing is called the
Stealth Switch™ - Desktop Cloaking Device".

CLOAKING DEVICE! Sounds pretty cool huh? I know your thinking; Ooh, like Star Trek, Stargate or maybe even Harry Potter.
Well err ... no. Not as cool as it sounds really. But some of you may find it useful if confidentiality and secrecy is paramount in your work, or you're a dodgy bugger and up to no good. Haha.

These are its selling points:
  • The world's first desktop cloaking device
  • Completely hides computer applications and mutes sound with a press of a foot switch
  • Protect sensitive information
  • Get confidential materials off your screen . fast!
  • Works with any application
  • Intuitive, discreet and fast
  • Easy to install
Essentially it's a big old panic button that sits under your desk and can be operated with your foot.
It comes with a 2 metre (six foot) USB cable, so you can stash it well out of site (but of course, not out of toe tapping reach, hehe).
With a tap of the foot-switch the device instantly and completely hides your applications. The company likes to point out that; "The applications are not just minimised, they are made completely invisible." (Hey presto! Alakazam!)
You can choose whether to close just the current window, all windows or windows of your choice. The device also has the ability to mute the sound "plus many other useful settings".

If you have £29.99 and want to grab yourself a Stealth Switch™ go HERE.

If you are a Star Trek fan and came here looking for a cloaking device, THIS STORY from the BBC last year may give you some hope. It's a report about two mathematicians and their research showing that cloaking devices, such as those used in Star Trek, might just work.

And finally, for invisibility fans there is this video of the University of Tokyo's research into "Optical Camouflage".

Wednesday, 10 October 2007

AV drip instead of IV drip

AV DripA very popular little news story that is EVERYWHERE today. I thought I may as well jump on the bandwagon and post a little something on it, as it gives me an excuse to post the above pic I photochopped. Hehe.

This is a news story from Australia where doctors in a Queensland hospital used a case of vodka to save an Italian tourist being treated for poisoning.
The 24-year-old man
"had ingested a large amount of the poisonous substance ethylene glycol, found in antifreeze, which can cause renal failure and is often fatal."

The doctors administered pharmaceutical-grade alcohol, which works as an antidote to the poison, until their supplies ran out.
Dr Gelperowicz said:
"We quickly used all the available vials of 100 per cent alcohol and decided the next best way to get alcohol into the man's system was by feeding him spirits through a naso-gastric tube,"

Apparently the hospital administrators were
"very understanding when told the reason for buying the case of vodka."
I'm not sure they will be quite as understanding when it comes to the Christmas period and there seems to be a 600% increase in poisonings of this type requiring this exact same treatment.
  • Admin: "Are you sure Doctor?"
  • Doctor: "Oh yes. Trust me, it's the only way."
  • Admin: "But 40 cases Doctor?"
  • Doctor: "Of course! Well if I'm going to the Cash and Carry to get my unusually large amount of peanuts and crisps, it makes sense to buy in bulk wouldn't you say? I'm only thinking of the hospital budget."
I know of quite a few blokes, who would of loved to be able to tell the story that they were kept alive by an AV (Absolut Vodka) drip. You can imagine it can't you. Telling the biggest lush of your mates that maybe he's over-doing the old jolly juice, he can always reply: "I wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for vodka running through my system!"

For the source story: news.com.au

On a serious note; It appeared that the man ingested the poisonous substance in an apparent attempt to commit suicide/self harm.
The following are some useful links if you yourself sometimes have suicidal feelings or you want to read more about the warning signs for friends or loved ones of yours.
  • Samaritans (confidential non-judgemental emotional support, 24 hours a day) - UK & Ireland
  • Befrienders (31,000 volunteers in almost 40 countries) - Worldwide
  • PAPYRUS (Prevention of young suicide) - UK
  • RaPSS (Response and Prevention in Student Suicide) - UK
  • Metanoia.org (Worth a read)
  • 1-800-SUICIDE (Call any time, day or night) - US

Tuesday, 9 October 2007

The hills are alive with the sound of Indian dance music...

Sound Of Indian Dance MusicThis video is great! Julie Andrews sure looks different!
You may not be a fan of over-choreographed dance routines but you can't deny this IS entertaining.
Maybe you don't understand the language (obviously some of you will. Wassuuup! to my Indian visitors!), but you'll all be singing this and imitating the dance moves once you've seen it. You will! Oh yes you will. Resistance is futile Borg Smiley I can assure you. haha.
One word I did catch was 'operation'. Maybe he was explaining that he dances in this odd way only since the operation.

So take some health and safety tips from this video. When you find yourself strolling around mountains or hills where there is very low visibility due to the thick, dense mist and fog, be sure to put on a pair of very dark glasses so you look cool plummeting to your death off an unseen cliff!

For those of you interested, the name of the song is "Kalluri Vaanil" by Prubhu Deva

Friday, 5 October 2007

WTF R LOLcats & ROFLcats?

Image-Ceiling catDo you know what LOLcats or ROFLcats are? Well, If you can see the picture above then you are looking at one. Is it a LOL or a ROFL cat you may well ask. Well to be honest I don't know. I'm not even sure there is a difference.

Basically you take a picture of a cat looking cute or amusing (quite often peeping out of something or somewhere). Then, in large clear font, add a phrase written in broken English (text message style or 1337-speak*).
The example above is a rare exception and not a true LOLcat phrase, in that it is a proper sentence, has correct spelling and has even got punctuation.
The usual sort of format is something like:
"I iz in ur sinc likkin al ur deeshez!"
These cats are used a lot in forums, especially photo forums and photoshopping sites.
Quite often one cat pic will inspire another or even a response to a popular LOLcat pic, as seen below.
Image-Ceiling cat2So if you have a cat, a camera and some photo editing software, why not join in and add to the LOLcat community. You never know, your creation may turn out to be very popular and end up all over the internet forums.

For more info and inspiration see:
Wikipedia explains LOLCAT
ROFLcats.com
LOLcats.com
LOLcatz.net
icanhascheezburger.com
UrbanDictionary explains 1337-speak*

Wednesday, 3 October 2007

Does man have leg to stand on in custody battle?

This is a nice weird news story found on the BBC news site.
A man may face a legal custody battle to reclaim his OWN leg!

The original (or should I say genetic) owner of the leg, Mr John Wood had the leg amputated after a plane crash in 2004, but had asked to keep it so that he could be buried as a whole man when he dies.
He stored the leg in a barbecue smoker. Which, along with other possessions, was kept in a storage facility after he lost his home.

Unfortunately for Mr Wood, things were going from bad to worse.
Not only did he lose his home but after a time he got behind on his rental payments at the storage facility.
So the storage company in North Carolina auctioned off his possessions including the barbecue smoker and all its contents.

After buying the smoker, the winning bidder Mr Shannon Whisnant later discovered the leg inside, wrapped in a wire screen. He took the leg to the police. Once they established it had not been removed as a result of a crime they sent it to the local funeral home (I'm not sure why either) for Mr Wood to retrieve.

Straight forward enough you may think. But wait; Mr Whisnant (buyer of the smoker and its contents) wanted the leg back! But the funeral home refused.
So he tried to persuade Mr Wood to share custody of the leg. He said with "Halloween just around the corner" he could make money off of it and Mr Wood could share in the profits.

Mr Wood however was not interested in making money from it, he just wanted his leg back. Having his 'business plan' rejected, Mr Whisnant has threatened to begin legal action if the leg is not returned to HIM by next week.
He says he has a receipt from the auction showing he bought the smoker AND its contents.

It wasn't mentioned in the news story but I have a sneaking suspicion that Mr Whisnant is secretly planning to establish himself as a Rolf Harris - Jake The Peg tribute band to tour North Carolina and the rest of the US. Hehe.

Check out Rolf doing his thing at the Royal Albert hall. Haha.