Here we have one of those embarrassing 'Dumbest Criminal' type news stories. As it turns out, it was not only embarrassing for the criminal but (maybe more so) also for his girlfriend.
This particular weird news story is from Leicester in the UK and was reported by many newspapers about a week ago, but for any of you that may have missed it, here it is:
The story is of a 27 year old man named Nicki Jex who decided to rob his local Ladbrokes bookies. Of course for this daring caper he needed to be armed and dangerous! So he threw caution to the wind and tooled himself up with...
...his girlfriend's Rampant Rabbit vibrator!
Of course now would be a good time to insert (oops, you can't even avoid puns and innuendo in this one) smutty jokes about "stick 'em up!" and "spread 'em!"
But why the vibrator? If you're not going to use a gun shaped object in a bag like a toy gun or something, then he could have used any long pointy object in a plastic bag; a cucumber or the classic banana. But nooooo, as if being a rubbish criminal isn't embarrassing enough, he had to choose something that would make him respected and feared amongst the hardened bank robbers and murderers he is now sharing cells with.
I hope his girlfriend got her property returned to her because if she's planning to stay faithful to her man then 5 years is a long wait.
Newspaper reports: The Sun - The Guardian