Friday, 21 September 2007

Patently Weird and Wonderful

Above is an illustration for an invention patented on November 9th, 1965 by inventors: George and Charlotte (yep, a man AND a woman thought this a good idea) Blonsky of New York, NY.
It is an "Apparatus for Facilitating the Birth of a Child by Centrifugal Force."
Also known as a "centrifugal delivery table."
"The expectant mother is strapped down to the table, which is then spun to use centrifugal force to encourage the baby to emerge."

So, let's see now:
  • Did you always want to be a pilot or an astronaut when you grew up?
  • Do you love roller coasters and can never get enough G-Force?
  • Do you have an odd shaped head that your mother has never really explained?
  • Or do all of the above apply?
If so, then me thinks your parents have some explaining to do!
Try casually dropping the phrase "centrifugal delivery" into the conversation next time the subject of you as a baby comes up, then keep a close eye on their facial expressions and looks exchanged.

And, on the subject of babies; here is another invention (or idea) that was patented on March 23rd, 2000 by inventor: Alan R. Hirsch of Chicago IL, USA.
Who needs Viagra® when you can use Patent No.5,885,614- "Use of Odorants to Treat Male Impotence"

The patent explains how "smelling certain combinations of odors will increase effective blood flow" to the male member.
These sexy stinks can be "administered by scented cloths, sprays, or scratch-and-sniff patches."
The inventor lists the most effective materials as:
  • Lavender and pumpkin pie
  • Doughnut and licorice
  • Pumpkin pie and doughnut
Considering those ingredients, if you bump into Homer Simpson or an officer of the law (especially on Halloween) it may NOT be a gun in his pocket, he may actually be pleased to see you.
For more weird and wonderful patents, check

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