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Saturday, 22 December 2007

Tinsel and tampons!

Image:Tampon decoration-StarAre you bored with the same old Christmas decorations, year in, year out?
Or maybe, last year in a fit of Christmas depression and drunkenness you threw all your decorations out onto a giant bonfire, danced round it naked screaming "F**k Christmas! Never again, never again! I won't need these crappy decorations EVER again!".
But now 3 days before Christmas, you discover that friends, and maybe even some family, are planning to pop over on Christmas day to "cheer you up, coz you seem a bit down".
So now it's panic stations. You want to appear normal, so you need Christmas decorations and you need them FAST!

Well fear ye (you know it's Christmas when bloody "ye" keeps coming into sentences) not!
You can just make your own! Allow me to give you some inspiration with the help of the creative people responsible for TamponCrafts.com.
To get started you need to either:
  1. Be a lady.
  2. Be a man who knows the "joys" (ehem) of living with a lady.
  3. Be a man who doesn't mind buying his wife's (or his own) 'Punani Plugs' while getting stared at by all around him, as if he has mistakenly picked up a box of dynamite sticks and a box of matches.
Image:Tampon decoration-AngelOnce armed with your 'Fanjita Fillers' follow the step-by-step guides and you'll be creating 'beautiful' decorations such as the Christmas Star (above right) for atop your Christmas tree.
Or perhaps one of these lovely little angels (left).
Doesn't she look like she just fell from Heaven? (Ironically, before she was deformed into an angel
she was destined to go to Heaven, hehe).

And if you're planning to go 'all out' and decorate the whole place then how about some of these festive "lights".
Okay, they're not actual lights, they are just look-a-likes or even look-a-lights (hahaha, ya see what I did there? No? k.).Image:Tampon decoration-Fake lightsTampon decorations - what could be more festive?

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