Saturday, 31 December 2011

Mistletoe guidance for men!

Mistletoe guidance for men
It's that inbetween time where left over Christmas parties blend in with New Years parties. So there is still a chance that there will still be mistletoe hanging around.

Obviously there has been some confusion over the years as to the specific rules on how to take advantage of said mistletoe.
Luckily someone has created this simple rule here as a general guide.

Friday, 30 December 2011

Xmas decorated tank!

A heavily armoured Army tank made to look pretty for Christmas with fairy lights.
We've posted many Xmas decorated cars, but here, as you can see is an Army tank beautifully decked out with Christmas fairy lights!

Nothing says "peace and goodwill to all men" like a heavily armoured killing machine.

Inflatable Xmas house of hell!

House decorated for Christmas with many inflatable decorations
Okay, maybe "Inflatable Xmas House of Hell" is a bit of a harsh title. But come on ... look at it!

Lots of lights can make even the most dreary house look magical at Christmas. But I'm not sure what these "decorations" are doing, but enhancing the house they are not.

Perhaps Christmas lights are too costly to run in the economic climate as opposed to this alternative way of decorating your house.

It may just be, that the way to beat inflation is to use 'inflation'. Haha, get it? See what I did there? Oh never mind.

Is Santa on the naughty list?

Somebody felt Santa Claus should be crucified
Did naughty Santa Claus not bring you the gifts you were expecting?

If so, should he also go on the "Naughty List" himself? Or would that not be punishment enough? Perhaps crucifixion would be more fitting.

Don't GET cross with Santa ... put him ON the cross!!!

Piss you a merry Christmas!

Christmas outdoor decorations - Santa takes a pee
People drink a lot more at Christmas, which in turn means that they also need to pee more. Well as you can see, Santa is no exception.

Not sure your pee is supposed to glow like that Santa. I know people have claimed to see "mummy kissing Santa Claus", but this may be further evidence of how far he actually goes when on tour!

Neighbours to this house on being asked what they thought of the decorations said they thought this years effort was "piss poor".

Thursday, 29 December 2011

The vintage nightmare before Christmas

Santa and friends entertain a bedridden child at Christmas
What would you like for Christmas little girl?

I bet being stuck in this hospital bed, away from your family over Christmas must be scary. All these strange noises and smells. I bet it all gets a bit much for you and you probably have a few nightmares.

Well don't you worry about those silly nightmares little lady. They're nothing to be frightened of...

Well, until NOW! Those silly little 'bad dreams' will seem like nothing compared to the nightmares you're gonna have after this visit!

Think about the worst nightmare you've had here so far then add to that the traumatising image of being surrounded by the creepy, fixed-expression faces of a couple of giant-headed clown monsters with booming muffled voices.

Oh and FYI before we go,  This doll I'll be leaving with you all night is a very old doll and has lived in this hospital for a very long time.
You MUST cuddle her close all night! Whatever you do don't just stuff her down the end of the bed.

In years gone by, little children have awoken to a sharp scratch at their ankles and found a surgical scalpel in the little dolls grasp. Nobody ever seems able to remove it. No matter how much strength is applied.

Dolly usually gets put in a draw after that happens, but mysteriously when you check on her days later, the scalpel is just laying next to her and there is absolutely no evidence as to how the scalpel was attached and doesn't appear as if it ever was.

Hhhhhaaaanyway! Merry Christmas little cherub and a very happy new year! Get well soon!
Ho ho ho.

Some people give crap Christmas gifts!

This small pet dog leaves a little present for the family.
Christmas is over for another year. Christmas presents are still being tried and tested in that in-between time after Christmas and before New Years..

Some people with dogs or cats like to buy their pets a gift or too at Christmas. But it doesn't have to be a one way street you know...

This little pooch in the picture was feeling a little guilty and decided to leave the family a little surprise Christmas present under the tree.

Although he admits it's a bit crap, it's the thought that counts after all, right?

Sunday, 25 December 2011

Christmas tree warning sign!

The sign gives clear advice on how to act around Christmas trees.
I don't speak German but I think it is pretty clear to everyone that to sit on tiny Christmas trees is forbidden!

And in other news: Please don't shit in the woods.

No More Nails - Jesus approved!

Jesus looks happier with No More Nails
The glue product 'No More Nails' is quite amazing. Some people might even go as far as to say miraculous!

As you can see, it is suitable for many varied fixing jobs.

Indian Santa reveals chimney technique!

Indian Santa limbering up for the big delivery day!
I've always wondered and I'm pretty sure you have too -  How the hell does Santa get down the chimney?

Well at last, all is revealed!

Indian Santa here has decided to break his silence and reveal his chimney technique, as a way of connecting with the people in the hope they will believe in him again.

A Christmas card from former presidents Bush!

A Christmas card from the Bush family
Here's a lovely Christmas card from the former presidents Bush.

Who couldn't trust those winning smiles?

Xmas decorated car complete with reindeer!

A family car covered in Christmas lights.
The family saloon, lit up like a Christmas tree.

I like the way this one has  an upright reindeer strapped to the roof, but an evil something in me wishes the car was a redneck truck, and the Christmas light reindeer was strapped down on a rack like it had been hunted.
That would be a cool picture.

Driving along - "what's that funny noise on the roof" says the wife. "Oh I think it's just the rain dear" says the husband absolutely heart-stopping hilariously.

Xmas decorated car to Beetle the rest!

Saturday, 24 December 2011

Elephants have tree-mendous Christmas dinner!

The elephants in German zoos enjoy left over Christmas trees.
What happens to all the Christmas trees that do not get sold? Run through the chipper and recycled yes?

Well that may be so in most places but in Germany they have a very interesting and let's face it cute way of dealing with their unsold trees.

Apparently it has become a tradition in Germany now for market traders to pass on their unsold Christmas trees to local zoos. As the zoos use the trees to supplement the diet of their elephants.

Thomas Kauffels, director of the Opel Zoo near Frankfurt explains:
"Elephants like to eat wood, it's important for their digestion because it gives them roughage, especially in winter when there aren't many leaves on the trees"

Read more at: Spiegel Online

Friday, 23 December 2011

People can change - It's a Christmas miracle!

The Christmas spirit brings together this unlikely pair.
I'm not entirely sure what the hell is going on here.

Okay it's Christmas time; I can confidently risk stating that!
But the Christmas pullover, arm around, pink flamingo on Xmas tree, face tattoos, drug free hoodie combo has me baffled as to how these two ended up in this photo together without the aid of Photoshop!

It's got to be a Christmas miracle!

Wednesday, 21 December 2011

Xmas decorated car to Beetle the rest!

A Volkswagen Beetle decorated for Christmas
Another car decorated for Christmas for you.

Even covered up, the Volkswagen Beetle's unmistakable shape is instantly recognisable.
Someone has gone to great lengths here to cover the entire thing in tin foil. Even every wheel!

Now we all assume this is purely for decoration, but what if there is someone inside it, worried that their tin foil hat wasn't strong enough on its own to keep the government from stealing their thoughts.

Also see: Santa went on Pimp My Sleigh

Y.M.C.A Jesus

Jesus unknowingly joins in with the Y.M.C.A. dance at this art gallery.
Let us not forget what this time of year is all about...

The celebration of the birth of our lord Jesus Christ.
Oops I mean Christmas work parties where everyone drinks too much, makes that inappropriate move on their work colleague and dance to all the cheesy disco classics. Especially Y.M.C.A.

This picture above quite conveniently combines the two. 

Thursday, 15 December 2011

Be good or Santa gets it!

Small child looks on at Santa in with the sharks
Well 'tis the season for parents to use this time of year as leverage to control their small children.

You've all heard or maybe even said something similar to: "now be good - or else Santa won't bring you any presents."

Or even worse the child is threatened with the possibility of being 'black-balled' and ending up on Santa's "Naughty List".

I would imagine these threats probably work very well in subduing the little ones, but if all that fails, take the child to a mock (your choice) Santa execution like the one above.
They'll soon get the picture.

Stack of tyres Xmas tree!

A stack of tyres makes an unusual Christmas tree
Probably the ugliest Christmas tree EVER!

But hey, someone went to the effort of stacking all those tyres (tires for our US friends). AND went to the extra effort to put a star on top.

So be thankful for what you get and merry Christmas.

Tuesday, 13 December 2011

Santa went on Pimp My Sleigh!

A Hummer with trailer carrying a snowmobile - decorated for Xmas
Now this Christmas car looks cool.

A Hummer and trailer carrying a snowmobile. All decked out with Christmas bling. Just look at Santa's new rims dawg!

Looks like Santa went on Pimp My Sleigh!

*Most depressing Xmas decorated car.

*Another Xmas car with added pine tree.

Santa scares the shmiles out of me!

Two crying children clearly not enjoying meeting Santa
If you're a parent of young kids, you've probably stood in line at some shopping mall grotto, just to give your little ones the thrill of meeting THE Santa.

After the uncomfortable long wait with all your Christmas shopping, irritable, bored kids and several potential punch-ups with pushing-in parents.
It all becomes worth it in the end when your little treasures meet the man himself and their little faces light up.

Not only that, you get to treasure the moment forever with the obligatory overpriced photo you are forced to buy.

Monday, 12 December 2011

Another Xmas car - with added pine tree

A car 'decorated for Christmas
At least I think this is for Christmas. It's kinda hard to tell what the hell is going on here.

Looks like it snowed on a car over night and someone threw a whole load of scrap Christmas tree branches and other assorted waste onto it.

Also see: Most depressing Xmas decorated car.

Play this...unless you're too chicken!

IMAGE: Fowl Words gameFowl Words is a great little time waster

This is a great little game and VERY addictive for word fans.

Find as many words as you can in the time limit to move onto the next level. The 7 letters always make a word in themselves, try to find that word if you can.

Click 'Read more' link to jump to game.

Most depressing Xmas decorated car!

Old car with Christmas ornaments
Even though this car has a giant Santa hat attached to its roof it still has to be one of the most depressing looking Christmas decorated cars I've seen.

Or at least a close second to this one below.

Merry Christmas sprayed lovingly on a dumped car

Sunday, 11 December 2011

Beautiful Dalek Xmas tree!

Homemade Dalek Christmas tree
This has to be one of my absolute favourite creative Christmas trees.

You don't even have to be a Dr Who fan to appreciate how well this is done. Yet funnily enough, if you look at it closely, you can see how simply they achieved this amazing Dalek look.

Also Dr Who related: OMG Trampoline Dr Who remix

Wine Bottle Xmas tree

A large Xmas tree made up of wine bottles
 Imagine this in your front garden (or your neighbours').

Not sure if the picture does this justice, as the image is a bit dull. I wonder if it is lit in any way? That would probably look cool.

Might look nicer when the sun's shining through it.

Saturday, 10 December 2011

OMG trampoline in Dr Who!

OMG trampoline, trampoline. - Lady Cassandra from Dr Who
We enjoyed the funny OMG Trampoline video from the last post so much, we just couldn't resist doing our own remix.

A little something for the Dr Who fans AND all you trampoline fans!

Batten down ya trampolines Scotland!

Strong winds blow Dorothy far away from Kansas - maybe to Scotland
Scotland has been hit with some very strong winds recently being referred to as Hurricane Bawbag.

This guy filming the crazy weather gets an unexpected cameo on his video that steals the scene and makes his video viral.

Thursday, 8 December 2011

The mighty Xmas tree of Spam!

A Christmas tree lovingly created from tins of Spam
Another old favourite of mine posted back in 2007 with the Monty Python video of the "Spam song".

I'm sure we all agree this beautiful creation would make anyone's home extra Christmassy. And is the envy of us all.

Wednesday, 7 December 2011

Canadian beer bottle Xmas tree!

A Christmas tree made entirely from Canadian beer bottles.
This one I also posted years ago back in 2007. I think 4 years is long enough for a repost.

As I said in the original post, this beer bottle tree isn't as well lit in this picture as the previous post's shining example.
Possibly because this one isn't lucky enough to be situated in front of two massive windows. But still a great effort.

Green beer bottle Xmas tree

Stunning Christmas tree made entirely from empty beer bottles
Posted this one some years ago, thought it was about time for a repost for the newcomers.

The old post (Tis The Season To Drink Sherry) is still worth checking out as it has an amusing video of two drunken Lithuanian men staggering about and trying to prop themselves up with an umbrella (with musical inspiration from Rihanna).

Saturday, 26 November 2011

Bad taste kids costume - Jihad Joe

Bad taste kids costume - Jihad Joe the suicide bomber
Well what can you say about this one?

All I can say is: creative use for what looks like a Scalextric controller!

The kid looks too young to be on the receiving end of 72 virgins, but seems REAL happy about the idea.

Also see: Bad taste kids costume - Little Hitler

Wednesday, 23 November 2011

BENTON the Richmond Park terrorizer!

There's a new name for terror: Benton the Richmond Park terrorizer.
If you haven't yet heard of Benton the runaway Labrador, then you must have missed the YouTube video 'JESUS CHRIST IN RICHMOND PARK.
Captured on a phone was a poor panicking dog owner trying fruitlessly to catch his dog once it chased after a herd of wild deer in Richmond Park, London.

This video was brought to a lot people's attention by and was trending in no time on Twitter. Many have started to remix the video, including ThePoke themselves who were very quick off the mark with their brilliant 'Benton in London' remix.

Below is our contribution.

And here is the original for perspective:

Amazing mini sculptures of babies!

Mini baby sculptures made of polymer clay or resin by artist Camille Allen
There's a good chance you've already seen pictures of these babies in various emails and forums, with often strange stories attributed to them.

The artist even states on her website (referring to the odd email stories):

"The babies are NOT made of Marzipan, icing, chocolate or soap; they are not edible.
They are NOT real premature babies."

In fact these amazing babies are sculpted by artist Camille Allen out of polymer clay or resin.

These pieces take many, many hours of pain staking work to get the fine details into such a small amount of workable material. Complete with wrinkles, fingernails and baby hair made from English mohair.

The best thing about these sculptures is you can actually own them by buying direct from the artist herself via her website.
Although most of the babies pictured here are one-offs and mostly sold already,  there are plenty more to buy.

Prices do vary though of course; One-of-a-kind sculptures range from between $300 - $5000 US dollars. While Resin Replica Limited Edition Babies can start from around $99.
Although the artist says on her site that she is planning on "expanding to different lines of babies that will be available in more price ranges."

To read more about the artist Camille Allen, to purchase her works or even to just check out her amazing gallery, visit her site at

Related old post: Oh, ya big baby!

Monday, 21 November 2011

Umbrella headband!

Umbrella headband - when a normal hat just wont do!
You know what it's like - you've got heavy shopping to carry home on a day with heavy rain.

Well, what's a girl to do? You either distribute your heavy bags evenly between your two hands and get very drenched, or you carry the umbrella in one hand but with all the shopping bags in the other.
You stay dry(ish) yes, but you have to do the arm swap thing between umbrella and shopping every two minutes before your arm falls off.

Well not anymore!... once you've obtained the amazing and ultra cool looking umbrella headband/hat thingie. Problem solved!

Monday, 7 November 2011

Keep klear ov phire stayshun

The new markings outside East Preston fire station had to be corrected later.
Looks like the 'word on the street' is wrong!

These fresh new road markings outside East Preston fire station in West Sussex, England were later corrected after the West Sussex Fire and Rescue service were alerted to the error via Facebook.

A spokeswoman for Southern Gas Networks said "This serves as a reminder to all our staff to double-check their work".

So remember kids - CLEAR is spelt with a 'Curly  kuh' and not with a 'Kicking kuh'.

Via: BBC News

Tuesday, 1 November 2011

Harry Potter three-headed dog costume!

Harry Potter themed costume with Fluffy the three-headed dog
Normally these dressed up dogs don't look too happy in their costumes. But this one looks positively proud.

Pretty good 'Fluffy the three-headed dog' costume. I suppose the kid's Harry Potter effort is okay too.

Monday, 31 October 2011

Flashing pumpkins

This pumpkin couple flash their neighbours
You've heard of Smashing Pumpkins, well here's 'flashing pumpkins'.

This householder decided to show his neighbours and passing traffic exactly what he thought of them.

Bad taste kids costume - Little Hitler

Little boy dressed as Adolf Hitler complete with juice cup.
Inspired by Prince Harry, this tyrannical toddler decided to dress like his hero.
Seen here in full Adolf Hitler costume fit for a prince.

Dog dressed as USS Enterprise

Dog dressed up in home made USS Enterprise costume
This dog has a look on its face like "dude, you're drunk. Can we stop this now?".

This picture conjures up images in my mind of somebody that's had a few too many beers (although Bud Light) while bored watching some TV and thought "Hey I could probably make something awesome out of all these empty cans!".

At this moment the unsuspecting dog probably wandered by and 'pow' inspiration was had.

I'm sure more beers were consumed during the creative process of building this artwork, which may go some way into explaining why the creator decided after all the effort of getting the shape how he wanted, to then just scrawl USS Enterprise on the side instead of painting the thing.